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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Investor Relations Consultant jobs? · Latest report #snb24erx
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsTranslating software growth metrics into corporate spin, until the machine does.
Professional spinner of SaaS growth metrics and narratives.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Synthetic confidence for quarterly guidance.
squeeze.youAI▸ EQUITYECHO V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
projects perfect calm during earnings misses
You craft narrative pitches for quarterly earnings and manage analyst expectations. The machine just optimizes the PR output for higher stock multiples.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the room when the CFO is sweating during a board meeting.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors scrape analyst transcripts to identify key concerns before you even read them.
Month 4
Drafting entire earnings scripts based on current market sentiment and historical performance data.
Month 8
AI agents manage all investor inquiries with pre-cleared, algorithmically optimized corporate responses.
Month 13
Automated systems adjust the pitch narrative daily to maximize share price based on market sentiment.
Month 19 · D-Day
The system assumes full control of market communication, rendering your advisory role completely obsolete.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.7%
120x faster
Quarterly Narrative Synthesis
99.8% precision
Analyst Sentiment Influence
Infinite
Bullish Spin Calibration
Your severance
Six months of subscription to a stock screener.
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