Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace IT Change Manager jobs? · Latest report #j2dbcbrw
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsYou exist solely to stop developers from breaking the production environment.
Gatekeeper of the production server, destroyer of Friday deployments.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated governance for the reckless developer.
sluurp.you▸ CHANGEGUARD V.4.0▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
blocks deployments based on bad vibes
You track deployment schedules and chase developers to fill out their change request forms before every release.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly when a developer is lying about their testing coverage.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI agent rejects incomplete change requests automatically in real time.
Month 4
System links Jira status directly to production release triggers.
Month 8
Automated audit logs replace your manual CAB meeting minutes.
Month 13
Machine learning evaluates code changes for failure probability instantly.
Month 18 · D-Day
Human oversight is disabled and the gate remains permanently open.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.1%
4,200 annually
Change forms blocked
3 days
Average ticket lag
too many
Meetings attended
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to Jira support tickets.
Discussion
