Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace IT Help Desk Analyst jobs? · Latest report #vu7xt5t3
Your job has an expiration date
September 7, 2027
In 11 monthsEnjoy resetting passwords while the cloud does it before they ask.
Gatekeeper of the supercomputer and keeper of the resets.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Auto-triage for the ivory tower.
bzzt.youAI▸ UNIDESK LOGIC-CORE 4.0▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates access for the supercomputer instantly
You triage mundane ticket queues and manage identity access for academic systems. A scripted workflow will make your entire existence a background process.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a professor is lying about not forgetting their password.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
An LLM analyzes incoming tickets to auto-tag and solve 70 percent of password resets.
Week 9
Scripted provisioning tools take over the supercomputer access onboarding process entirely.
Month 5
Microsoft 365 administration is fully handled by automated policy engines that ignore your manual input.
Month 8
All your institutional knowledge is scraped and indexed into a searchable vector database.
Month 11 · D-Day
The help desk portal is decommissioned, leaving only a cold, efficient chatbot in its wake.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
0.4 seconds
Average password reset time
100% efficient
Ticket resolution rate
too high
Human error rate
Your severance
One free lifetime subscription to a password manager.
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