Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace IT Service Analyst jobs? · Latest report #spnhxxzx
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsYou exist to turn vague user panic into slightly less vague tickets.
Professional translator of 'the internet is broken' for management.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated problem resolution for the eternally confused.
oof.youAI▸ TICKETVOID-9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
auto-closes tickets with canned empathetic responses
You log user errors into ticketing queues and reset passwords for people who forgot they caps-locked their keys.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect when a user is lying about restarting their computer.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI filters incoming tickets to identify repetitive user errors instantly.
Month 4
Self-service bots take over password recovery and standard account unlocking.
Month 8
Language models rewrite your documentation for better automated user guidance.
Month 13
Software anticipates server issues before they hit your helpdesk queue.
Month 18 · D-Day
The system assumes full control of the incident management environment.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.8%
42
Password resets per shift
12 minutes
Ticket resolution time
99 percent
User error frequency
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our basic password-reset tool.
Discussion
