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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Jungle Cruise Skipper jobs? · Latest report #8gcebbdp
Your job has an expiration date
December 15, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsYour forced puns are now the primary threat to company stock value.
Master of captive audiences and plastic tropical wildlife.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated merriment for the masses
brr.you▸ RIVERSCRIPT MK-IV▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers pun scripts with zero hesitation
You pilot a boat through a man-made canal and recite a script of terrible jokes.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a child stops believing in the mechanical hippo.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Your puns are recorded and indexed for maximum psychological impact.
Month 7
Smart-guided boats eliminate the need for manual steering control.
Month 16
Lidar arrays replace your eyes for spotting water-jumpers and debris.
Year 2.2
Dynamic AI voices replace your tired delivery with optimized comedy.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
The river runs perfectly without your strained, eager-to-please performance.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
84 per shift
Average puns delivered
Weekly
Engine repair frequency
99%
Passenger eyeroll rate
Your severance
A lifetime pass to the line you no longer work.
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