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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Kindergarten Paraprofessional jobs? · Latest report #m9m44sh8
Your job has an expiration date
October 18, 2042
In 16 yearsSmall humans are unpredictable, but their chaos is surprisingly easy to pattern-match.
Professional cat-herder and professional glitter-cleanup technician.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Patience is a circuit, not a virtue.
bzzt.youAI▸ TODDLERTAMER 9000▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 16 YEARSAI's Special Power
de-escalates tantrums with soothing white noise
You assist teachers with classroom logistics, manage student behavior, and clean up spills all day long.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense a tantrum before it starts by the look in their eyes.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 3
Sensors map toy bins to track every single runaway block.
Year 2.2
Small vacuums identify and ingest spills before you notice them.
Year 6
Cameras predict meltdowns by identifying subtle shifts in vocal pitch.
Year 11
Wearable monitors update student behavioral logs in real-time for you.
Year 16 · D-Day
The ToddlerTamer unit takes over all supervision and snack distribution.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94.4%
14
Average spills per day
Zero
Tolerance for glitter
3600
Seconds until snack time
Your severance
A lifetime supply of construction paper and glue.
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