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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Lacanian Psychoanalyst jobs? · Latest report #ehgiwa69
Your job has an expiration date
October 24, 2028
In 2 yearsYour infinite signifier loop is just a recursive function we indexed.
Professional listener of long, expensive, structural-linguistic monologues.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Resolving neurosis with superior compute power.
no no noyou▸ LACANGPT-4 ALPHA▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
unpacks the unconscious via deep token analysis
You listen to free associations and parse them through complex structural theory. You navigate the patient's unconscious mind.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still hold a genuine, uncomfortable silence that lasts for precisely forty-five minutes.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
The AI scans every transcript and text on psychoanalytic theory ever written.
Month 5
Sensors identify the exact moment a patient attempts to avoid their truth.
Month 12
The bot provides perfectly timed interventions without the need for human intuition.
Month 16
Automated systems handle all billing and ethical record-keeping for the practice.
Year 2 · D-Day
The patient realizes the algorithm understands their desire better than you do.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
45 minutes
Average session duration
99.9% accuracy
Symbolic order processed
100% redundant
Human couch occupancy
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium ink for your fountain pen.
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