Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Lacrosse Coach jobs? · Latest report #6fgzn4vb
Your job has an expiration date
March 15, 2030
In 3 years, 5 monthsTeaching teenagers how to lose a ball while wearing plastic armor.
Professional screamer at teenagers in heavy padding
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimal rotations for maximum tournament victory.
squeeze.you▸ FIELDTACTICIAN-X9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHSAI's Special Power
calculates optimal clearing lanes in real-time
Coaches dictate strategy, manage bench rotations, and yell at referees. You also organize practices and pretend to understand high school politics.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly when a teenager has stopped listening to your strategic advice.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 8
Sensors and cameras capture every player movement to establish a performance baseline.
Month 10
Algorithms replace your napkin-drawn plays with mathematically superior field positioning maps.
Month 20
A centralized tablet unit manages bench rotations and fatigue levels without human sentimentality.
Year 2.5
Synthetic voices deliver post-game critiques that players actually bother to listen to.
Year 3.4 · D-Day
The robotic unit takes the sideline, permanently ending the era of the human clipboard.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 93.8%
98%
Clip-board abuse rate
400/hr
Whistle frequency
12
Parent complaints per game
Your severance
A lifetime supply of whistles and disappointment.
Discussion
