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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Lanyard Creator jobs? · Latest report #dxf85uz6
Your job has an expiration date
September 21, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsConverting bulk synthetic webbing into corporate identity, one plastic buckle at a time.
Master of the bulk polyester assembly line
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated weaving and clipping for zero-waste branding.
stretchy.youAI▸ STRAPPYBOT PRO-SERIES▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
seals edge-welds with laser precision
You assemble branded straps for trade shows and conferences. You attach metal clips to polyester material all day.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when the polyester weave is slightly frayed by touch alone.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 6
Sensors map your stock levels to prevent supply wastage.
Month 6
Heat-cutters replace manual blades for perfect, uniform edges.
Month 13
Robot arms snap buckles onto straps using high-speed cameras.
Month 19
Sorting machines group completed lanyards into shipping boxes automatically.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
The entire line is now fully autonomous and self-optimising.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.3%
450
Straps per hour
0.02%
Buckle failure rate
Zero
Logo alignment error
Your severance
A lifetime supply of branded, non-functional promotional pens.
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