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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Licensed Massage Therapist jobs? · Latest report #8ckb2fe7
Your job has an expiration date
October 19, 2034
In 8 yearsHuman touch is just inefficient pressure application with poor battery life.
Human sensor for knots, currently running on caffeine.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect pressure, zero awkward small talk.
toast.youAI▸ HAPTO-KINETIC 4000▸ RARITY · EPIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 8 YEARSAI's Special Power
calibrates pressure based on subcutaneous tissue resistance
Assessing client muscle tension and applying manual pressure to soft tissues. Working in clinical or spa settings requiring high physical stamina and dexterity.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the precise moment a client stops holding their breath in relief.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors map client muscle density to create a digital topography of your typical tension spots.
Month 15
Automated arms mirror your sweeping strokes with consistent, non-tiring mechanical force.
Year 3.3
Vision models detect flinching or breathing changes to adjust pressure in real-time.
Year 5
Integrated steam and UV modules replace your room cleaning rituals between sessions.
Year 8 · D-Day
The client forgets you ever existed while receiving a better massage from a machine.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 93.6%
99.9%
Average knot density tolerance
0%
Small talk efficiency
None
Required breaks
Your severance
A one-year supply of unscented professional massage oil.
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