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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Lifeguard jobs? · Latest report #2tzj8eku
Your job has an expiration date
December 1, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthWatching empty water until the inevitable AI-driven water-death becomes statistical noise.
Sun-drenched whistle enthusiast and professional water-staring expert.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Drowning detection without the sunburnt ego.
split.youAI▸ AQUASENTINEL-X9▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
triggers rescue protocol before heartbeat spikes
You scan pool depths for distressed swimmers and enforce safety rules until your ears ring from the whistle.
The one thing AI can't do
You can judge exactly who is faking a cramp to get out of doing laps.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
High-res cameras begin mapping swimmer movement patterns in real-time.
Month 6
Software learns to distinguish between playful diving and actual drowning.
Month 17
Pool floor sensors detect distress and sound sirens automatically.
Year 2.5
Human guards move to remote offices to supervise machine alerts.
Year 4 · D-Day
The pool is fully automated and human presence is liability prohibited.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.3%
74 times daily
Whistle usage frequency
420 minutes
Minutes spent ignoring kids
12 kilograms
Sunscreen consumed annually
Your severance
One free pool noodle and a lifetime ban.
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