Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Linguistics PhD Candidate jobs? · Latest report #mmfb8fa5
Your job has an expiration date
December 30, 2028
In 2 years, 2 monthsTrading your life for a footnote no one will ever read.
Linguistic architect of sentences nobody needs to parse.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Generating papers faster than you can debate them.
ow.you▸ SYNTACTICOPTIMIZER X-9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
autogenerates peer-reviewed nonsense at scale
You spend years deconstructing syntax and phonology. Then you write dense papers that sit unread in digital archives.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the subtle, ironic nuance in a dead language's syntax, you beautiful nerd.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 9
Smart parsers index your messy data without human input.
Month 6
Large language models draft your entire dissertation overnight.
Month 14
Algorithms simulate academic debate without the fragile ego.
Month 21
AI writes perfect applications that actually secure funding.
Year 2.2 · D-Day
The department is permanently locked to save on electricity.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.8%
Zero point four
Average citation count
Twelve liters
Coffee intake per paper
Statistically irrelevant
Meaningful impact on humanity
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a dying PDF database.
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