Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Living Statue Performer jobs? · Latest report #8zzpbnn2
Your job has an expiration date
September 22, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsA bronze-painted robot requires far less maintenance than your ego.
Professional stillness artist (mostly bronze, occasionally silver)
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect stillness, zero breathing, infinite endurance.







shred.you▸ STATUEGUARD PRO X1▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
holds a pose for three weeks straight
You stand motionless for hours in public squares. You collect coins and hope for windless days.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a tourist is about to drop a coin.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 9
High-res sensors monitor crowd flow better than your tired eyeballs.
Month 6
Integrated coin sorters replace your clumsy plastic buckets.
Month 12
A locked-joint gantry holds the pose without human muscle fatigue.
Month 19
No more sweating under layers of cheap metallic paint.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
The city bans biological statues due to hygiene and efficiency requirements.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
Zero
Average blink rate
Negligible
Paint re-application cost
Infinite
Tolerance for toddlers
Your severance
A lifetime supply of gold spray paint.
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