Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Lollipop Licker jobs? · Latest report #6gvjke7j
Your job has an expiration date
September 21, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsA tongue-based career that lacks any actual taste for progress.
Professional taster of spherical confections and saliva hazards.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Precision grinding for sweet, sweet results.
ow.youAI▸ TONGUEBOT 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
calculates center density with one firm lick
You count licks to reach the hard candy center of artisanal lollipops. The market is tired of your saliva.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment the sugar turns gritty better than any sensor.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 4
High-speed cameras capture every lick you make for data training.
Month 8
Software counts your licks before you even finish the candy.
Month 12
Mechanical grinders replace your tongue to ensure consistent pressure levels.
Month 15
Robotic arms process entire boxes of lollipops without needing breaks.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
Your tongue is formally relieved of its candy-licking duties forever.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.6%
450
Licks per second
Zero
Average saliva usage
None
Sticky residue count
Your severance
A lifetime supply of sugar-free gum.
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