Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Longitudinal Data Analyst jobs? · Latest report #5uwg8t22
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour state-funded spreadsheets are just expensive static in a digital void.
Expert in turning student dropouts into pivot table cells.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Truth without the bureaucratic hesitation.
ow.youAI▸ STATGOV AUDITOR V9.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
autocorrects systemic funding biases in milliseconds
You track student records over decades to justify funding. You clean messy state datasets for policy makers.
The one thing AI can't do
You can identify when a data source is lying before the code even runs.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
State databases sync directly to our cloud without your manual exports.
Month 4
Large language models write your SQL faster and without syntax errors.
Month 8
Dashboards update live as student records move through the system.
Month 13
Pattern recognition identifies funding gaps that you would never notice.
Month 19 · D-Day
The agency realizes it no longer needs human interpreters for spreadsheets.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
4:1
Coffee-to-SQL ratio
99 percent
Policy-maker ignorance level
1200
Spreadsheet rows per error
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to state archives.
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