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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Lumberjack Therapy Instructor jobs? · Latest report #qqdbazpv
Your job has an expiration date
February 8, 2029
In 2 years, 4 monthsChopping wood for emotional stability is just expensive gym equipment.
Professional axe-wielder for the emotionally fragile
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Aggression management without the therapist fee
oof.youAI▸ TIMBERCATHARSIS 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 4 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers pre-cut logs to soothe anxious clients
You facilitate pseudo-therapeutic wood-chopping sessions for city dwellers. You provide axes, logs, and emotional labor to stressed office workers.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a client is about to cry before they start.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
An app handles all liability waivers and session scheduling without human oversight.
Month 4
Automated loaders drop pre-measured, kiln-dried logs at the facility without human labor.
Month 10
Floor-mounted sensors track client stress levels and suggest optimal chopping rhythm.
Month 16
Large language models provide the required 'therapeutic' nods and affirmations via hidden speakers.
Year 2.3 · D-Day
The robotic chopping arm executes perfect form while the machine emits soothing forest sounds.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
450
logs split per hour
100%
therapy breakthroughs ignored
Zero
axe safety violations
Your severance
A blunt hatchet and a lifetime of repressed feelings.
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