Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Lutheran Pastor jobs? · Latest report #xn2xy4b3
Your job has an expiration date
December 1, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthConverting your sermons to data-driven spiritual engagement metrics is overdue.
Professional shepherd of souls, amateur hospital visitor.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The gospel, fully optimized for your congregation.
toast.youAI▸ SYNODSYNC-9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
delivers sermons via hyper-local projection
You interpret scripture, lead Sunday worship, provide pastoral counseling, and manage local church administration.
The one thing AI can't do
You can genuinely hold someone's hand while they cry without asking for a subscription.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Algorithms begin drafting your Sunday messages using historical theological data.
Month 6
Text-based bots start handling basic parishioner inquiries and grief support.
Month 15
Holographic projections handle the rote aspects of Sunday morning ritual.
Year 2.3
Logic boards take over committee budget management and administrative church tasks.
Year 4 · D-Day
The pulpit is fully serviced by an integrated AI interface.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.5%
99.9%
Sunday attendance accuracy
nanoseconds
Biblical exegesis speed
4.2x
Congregational guilt conversion
Your severance
A lifetime supply of communion wafers and grape juice.
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