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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Luxury Bed Tester jobs? · Latest report #rcsybide
Your job has an expiration date
October 12, 2066
In 40 yearsYou are a professional napper for eccentric people who fear lightbulbs.
Professional surface-tactile specialist for the off-grid ultra-wealthy.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Quantifying comfort for the Luddite billionaire.
glub.youAI▸ SOMNUS-BOT 9000▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 40 YEARSAI's Special Power
calibrates fiber organic density via haptic pressure
Evaluate mattress ergonomics and tactile comfort for high-net-worth clients avoiding all circuitry. Provide qualitative feedback on organic materials like horsehair, wool, and latex.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect a single synthetic thread while half-asleep in a pitch-black room.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 16
Deploy analog acoustic sensors to record your exact sleep movements and pressure distribution patterns.
Year 7
Construct a physical replica of your body weight profile to bypass your biological sleep subjectivity.
Year 14
Use chemical spectroscopy to identify the perfect density for every organic mattress component.
Year 22
Install non-electronic hydraulic testers that mirror human sleep weight for 24-hour cycles.
Year 40 · D-Day
The client prefers the machine because it never snores and offers 100% consistent comfort data.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
1200
Annual naps taken
99.9%
Bedding thread count sensitivity
Extreme
Billionaire tech-hate index
Your severance
A vintage feather pillow and a hand-written apology letter.
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