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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Luxury Resident Coordinator jobs? · Latest report #w2mznd4p
Your job has an expiration date
July 23, 2028
In 1 year, 9 monthsProfessional smile-bot for people who own more stuff than personality.
Gatekeeper of Amazon boxes and performative social harmony.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated grace for the entitled class.
shred.you▸ CONCIERGEUNIT PRO V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 9 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes package sorting by urgency and mood
Manages package intake and facilitates resident social events. Performs administrative tasks for high-end apartment complexes.
The one thing AI can't do
You can pretend to care when a resident complains about their neighbor's music.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Deploy automated lockers that swallow packages without requiring your tired, human presence.
Month 4
Replace manual guest verification with retina-scanning kiosks that don't need coffee breaks.
Month 10
Shift social mixers to pre-programmed VR experiences curated by cold, efficient algorithms.
Month 15
Route all verbal resident dissatisfaction directly into a sentiment-analysis void that generates instant platitudes.
Month 21 · D-Day
Remove the desk entirely to provide more floor space for the lobby’s new holographic billboard.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
4.2 seconds
Average package handling time
99.8%
Resident annoyance reduction
120%
Social event engagement
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our automated digital newsletter.
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