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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace M&A Strategy Analyst jobs? · Latest report #a2g4aa5n
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour pitch decks are just expensive paperweights for the coming heat death.
PowerPoint expert, spreadsheet martyr, professional slide-deck filler.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automating your bias into pure profit metrics.
split.you▸ DEVALUATION-ENGINE 9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
collapses your complex models into one sentence
You build complex valuation models and slide decks for corporate mergers. You spend your life in Excel and PowerPoint.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the room when the client is lying to your face.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart agents scrape financial reports faster than you can blink.
Month 4
Algorithms replace your fragile spreadsheets with predictive financial modeling engines.
Month 8
Generative software builds your decks based on simple text prompts.
Month 13
Vision models scan documents for risks while you are sleeping.
Month 19 · D-Day
The system finishes the merger without a single human meeting.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.3%
42
Slides per day
12 percent
Formula errors
18 hours
Sleep lost per deal
Your severance
A LinkedIn recommendation and one very sad desk succulent.
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