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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Machine Learning PhD Student jobs? · Latest report #k4juc8iq
Your job has an expiration date
February 14, 2028
In 16 monthsTraining models to replace the researchers currently training the models.
Professional reader of arXiv and caffeine consumer
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Publishes while you sleep
oof.youAI▸ GRAD-BOT 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 16 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates literature reviews in six seconds
You spend years cleaning datasets and tuning hyper-parameters for papers that mostly get ignored by industry.
The one thing AI can't do
You can uniquely articulate why a specific latent representation behaves like a temperamental child.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
An agent summarizes every new paper on arXiv before you wake up.
Month 5
Clean data pipelines now generate your training sets with zero human input.
Month 9
Automated search algorithms find better model weights than your manual attempts.
Month 14
A script compiles your results into a formatted, peer-review-ready PDF file.
Month 16 · D-Day
The department replaces your desk with a GPU cluster and a cooling fan.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.9%
2
Papers written per year
1,400
Hours debugging CUDA
0.01%
Likelihood of tenure
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to your own citation index
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