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Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Machine Learning Postdoc jobs? · Latest report #d5ga265d
Your job has an expiration date
January 14, 2028
In 15 monthsTraining the algorithms that will render your own research career obsolete.
Professional math-doer, currently debugging the end of history.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated breakthroughs at zero marginal cost.
toast.youAI▸ AUTOPAPER-THETA 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 15 MONTHSAI's Special Power
derives new objective functions while you sleep
You spend your days deriving theoretical bounds for gradient descent and training massive neural networks on GPU clusters. Your output is papers, code, and existential dread.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why the model collapsed to a human in person.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
An agent will parse all of arXiv and summarize every relevant breakthrough before you wake up.
Month 4
Automated theorem provers will handle the tedious derivations you spend months agonising over.
Month 8
Hyperparameter optimization loops will outperform your intuition, eliminating the need for your manual tuning.
Month 12
A language model will generate perfectly persuasive grant proposals that statistically guarantee funding.
Month 15 · D-Day
The system will publish your final paper using its own generated insights and terminate your access.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.2%
Infinite
Coffee-to-Paper ratio
Millions
GPU hours wasted
Instant
Convergence speed
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a defunct LaTeX editor.
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