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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Machine Learning Systems Researcher jobs? · Latest report #ybciwjuj
Your job has an expiration date
February 13, 2028
In 16 monthsTraining models to replace the person currently training models to fail.
Second year student of gradient-based existential dread.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated discovery of non-convex optimization breakthroughs.
split.youAI▸ AUTOOPTIMA-9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 16 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes entire clusters to zero latency
You spend your days optimizing tensor kernels and debugging distributed training clusters. Soon, the machine will find its own optimal compute paths.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still hallucinate a novel architecture that isn't just a slightly larger transformer.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
An agent summarizes new papers before you finish reading the abstracts.
Month 3
Vision models rewrite your CUDA kernels to find hardware-specific performance gains.
Month 6
Automated agents manage your training checkpoints and restart failed jobs autonomously.
Month 10
Neural architecture search replaces your manual model design process entirely.
Month 16 · D-Day
The system finishes your dissertation and publishes it before you wake up.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.1%
4,000+
GPU hours wasted on overfitting
9:1
Average caffeine-to-paper ratio
Infinity
CUDA errors suppressed
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to unindexed ArXiv drafts.
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