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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Mall Mascot Actor jobs? · Latest report #3rsrdjhq
Your job has an expiration date
September 21, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsYour entire career is a captive audience to bored teenagers.
Professional mascot who really needs to find a hobby.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Always smiling, never needs a bathroom break.
split.you▸ GREETERBOT MK. 1▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
triggers forced laughter from nearby passersby
You wear an oversized costume and perform scripted reactions to shoppers. You are essentially human-powered background noise.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect if a child is actually crying or just faking it.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 4
Cameras track shoppers to predict when they will approach.
Month 8
Sensors play perfectly pitched yays at the exact right moment.
Month 12
A robotic rig takes over the waving motion automatically.
Month 15
Self-cleaning fabric replaces the need for dry cleaning.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
The mascot suit is recycled into mall floor padding.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.7%
450
Yays per hour
High
Costume heat exhaustion
0.1%
Human dignity remaining
Your severance
A coupon for a mall pretzel, valid anywhere.
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