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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Mall Santa Claus jobs? · Latest report #a3fhd59r
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2028
In 2 yearsA velvet suit does not make you a supply chain miracle.
Professional beard-grower and toddler-wrangler for seasonal minimum wage.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimizing holiday whims at scale.
oof.youAI▸ KRIS-KRINGLE 5000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
delivers personalized gift lists via holographic interface
You listen to child wishlists and endure long shifts in hot suits. Your beard is perpetually failing you.
The one thing AI can't do
You can smell the genuine terror in a toddler's eyes before the scream begins.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Children input toy requests directly into an app for data processing.
Month 5
High-definition screens replace the physical chair with animated festive projections.
Month 10
AI models mimic the jolly laughter pattern to soothe nervous kids.
Month 16
Automated kiosks capture perfect photos without needing an extra helper.
Year 2 · D-Day
The throne is repurposed as an automated parcel delivery station.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.7%
Unlimited
Children per hour
Zero
Beard itchiness
Infinite
Candy cane output
Your severance
One free polaroid of an empty mall chair.
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