Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Marketing Researcher jobs? · Latest report #gsa5e9g4
Your job has an expiration date
April 16, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsYou analyze data for people who ignore your final recommendations anyway.
Professional reader of spreadsheets that nobody else ever opens.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Generating bias-free decisions in milliseconds.
split.youAI▸ INSIGHTBOT 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters infinite datasets into one graph
You build surveys, scrape consumer sentiment, and pivot raw data into presentations. Your charts are mostly decorative anyway.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect when a focus group participant is lying to your face.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
AI writes and deploys optimized surveys without human bias.
Week 12
Machines scrape and clean your CSV files in real-time.
Month 7
Algorithms identify trends faster than your pivot tables ever could.
Month 12
Software renders high-definition charts directly into your slide decks.
Month 18 · D-Day
Your account access is revoked in favor of API endpoints.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.4%
42
Slides per insight
80%
Time spent cleaning CSVs
Zero
Actionable results generated
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our sentiment analysis API.
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