Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Marriage Mediator jobs? · Latest report #ar4a66n6
Your job has an expiration date
March 15, 2030
In 3 years, 5 monthsHumans are too messy for humans to fix, let alone solve.
Professional referee for people who stopped liking each other
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Neutrality without the expensive hourly breathing.
ow.youAI▸ EQUIDIVORCE 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHSAI's Special Power
neutralizes emotional outbursts with monotone logic
You facilitate explosive emotional conversations to reach settlements. We facilitate cold, calculated silence until the contract is signed.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect when someone is actually about to throw a lamp at their spouse.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Our software collects all asset data and grievances without needing a therapist's patience.
Month 6
An interface presents the most statistically optimal split, ignoring all your client's petty vendettas.
Month 15
Real-time audio processing filters out emotional insults before they reach the other party's ears.
Year 2.2
The AI generates legally binding agreements based on thousands of successful, emotionless precedents.
Year 3.4 · D-Day
Mediation is now a background process managed by an API; you are officially surplus inventory.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.1%
112db
Average conflict decibels
99%
Empathy simulation accuracy
Zero
Human tear-duct irritation
Your severance
One free box of tissues and a legal disclaimers PDF
Discussion
