Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Martini Bartender jobs? · Latest report #gqs7g33k
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2030
In 4 yearsYour ability to shake a tin is not a career trajectory.
Professional listener and gin-to-glass logistics manager.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Liquid consistency without the existential baggage.
ow.youAI▸ VESPER-AUTOMATON V4▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
filters ice shards with absolute mathematical precision
You pour gin and vermouth while pretending to be interested in the customer's failing marriage. It is a precise sequence of liquid, ice, and glass.
The one thing AI can't do
You can judge exactly how much ice will dilute the drink before it hits 32F.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Integrated freezer units will ensure every martini glass remains at optimal frost without human handling.
Month 10
Calibrated flow sensors replace manual jigger pours to guarantee exact vermouth-to-gin ratios every time.
Year 2.1
High-torque robotic arms replicate the exact agitation arc required to cool spirit without excessive dilution.
Year 3
Computer vision sensors scan for ice shards and impurities to ensure crystal clear presentation.
Year 4 · D-Day
The bartender is disconnected from the shift schedule as machines achieve 100 percent customer satisfaction.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
0.02 percent
Average drink error
Zero
Conversation depth
None
Tips required
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a sparkling water brand.
Discussion
