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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Mascot Performer jobs? · Latest report #dazprzjd
Your job has an expiration date
May 29, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsYour fur is synthetic but the impending obsolescence is entirely organic.
Professional rodent with a background in stifling polyester.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect movement without the heat exhaustion.
bzzt.youAI▸ ANIMATRONIC-STAGE-UNIT V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
maintains perpetual synthetic smile during chaos
Performing choreographed routines in heavy character suits for children's parties and retail marketing events.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly when a toddler is about to pull your tail.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 5
High-fidelity sensors map your exact movement paths for data training.
Month 10
Static animatronics start replacing stationary mascot greeting spots.
Month 16
Robotic chassis replicate your specific dance gestures with precision.
Year 1.9
Autonomous units begin navigating arcade floor layouts without human error.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
The synthetic suits are retired as robots take the stage.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
105 degrees
Average suit temperature
450 kids
Children per shift
0 times
Costume dry cleanings
Your severance
A lifetime supply of lukewarm arcade tokens.
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