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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Massage Specialist jobs? · Latest report #fmpydiya
Your job has an expiration date
December 1, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthYour thumbs are just slow, fleshy levers waiting for better hardware.
Professional human-kneader and master of the quiet room.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Consistent pressure without the awkward small talk.
stretchy.youAI▸ RUB-O-MATIC 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
delivers deep tissue precision without getting tired
You knead muscle tissue to release tension. You manage pressure, oils, and awkward client conversations all day long.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly where a knot is hiding just by touch alone.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors map the client's body to identify exactly where tension hides.
Month 6
Robotic arms learn to apply safe pressure that never gets tired.
Month 17
A precision dispenser applies oil without making a messy puddle.
Year 2.5
AI replaces your voice with perfectly looped, calming nature sounds.
Year 4 · D-Day
The Rub-O-Matic assumes full control of the table and oil.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
42 daily
Average knuckles cracked
48 minutes
Awkward silence duration
3 weekly
Oil bottle spills
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our home-vibrator product line.
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