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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Masseur jobs? · Latest report #xexft93s
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2033
In 7 yearsYour hands are warm, but my actuators are perfectly calibrated.
Professional knot-untier, human muscle expert, tactile specialist.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect pressure every single time.
oof.youAI▸ SOFTTOUCH HAPTIC-ARRAY V4▸ RARITY · EPIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 7 YEARSAI's Special Power
applies consistent pressure to deep tissue
Masseurs perform physical soft tissue manipulation to relieve muscle tension. They rely on tactile feedback to adjust pressure.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact spot where a knot is hidden by intuition.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 10
Sensors map the client surface to identify tense muscles.
Year 2.2
Algorithms determine the exact force needed for various muscles.
Year 4
Precision nozzles dispense exact amounts of lubricant for sliding.
Year 5
Robotic arms adjust to resistance in real-time using sensors.
Year 7 · D-Day
The massage table is fully integrated with the robotic system.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
99.9% accurate
Average pressure consistency
Zero
Tired wrists per hour
Lowered
Client awkwardness coefficient
Your severance
A one-year supply of ergonomic hand cream.
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