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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Maternity Care Assistant jobs? · Latest report #va2wzqpq
Your job has an expiration date
April 20, 2031
In 4 years, 6 monthsYour bedside manner is just a latency issue we can fix.
Professional swaddler with a high tolerance for crying.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Clinical precision, zero parental anxiety.
help!youAI▸ INFANTPULSE 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
calibrates sensor arrays during infant nap cycles
Conducts newborn hearing screenings and blood spot tests while supporting post-partum recovery in home settings.
The one thing AI can't do
You can soothe a terrified first-time parent just by speaking softly while holding the baby.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 6
Wearables track your every move to map the perfect home visit.
Month 10
Smart devices connect directly to hospital records to remove human error.
Year 2.2
Dedicated home-visiting pods begin conducting painless blood and hearing tests.
Year 3.3
Parents prefer the machine because it never tires or forgets paperwork.
Year 4 · D-Day
The pods take over all home post-partum assessments permanently.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 93.8%
8
Home visits per day
Infinite
Manual blood pricks
99.2 percent
Baby soothing efficiency
Your severance
One digital baby monitor and a firm handshake.
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