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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Mattress Quality Assurance Tester jobs? · Latest report #86j5mfy4
Your job has an expiration date
May 19, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsYour spine is a legacy system we are ready to patch out.
Professional sleeper currently waiting for the dream to end.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Precision sleep metrics without the nap.
split.you▸ SLUMBERSCAN 4000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
calibrates bed firmness for every unique human
You assess comfort by lying on mattresses and documenting support, density, and material longevity for product development.
The one thing AI can't do
You can subjectively distinguish between 'cozy' and 'suffocating' using only your tired bones.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors map mattress pressure points more accurately than human weight distribution.
Month 7
Pneumatic rollers simulate human tossing and turning 24/7 without fatigue.
Month 16
Algorithm models decay rates based on millions of virtual sleep cycles.
Year 2.1
A database of comfort profiles renders human physical feedback statistically redundant.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
Production lines now auto-adjust based on real-time sleep-tech user data.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.8%
4.2
Average naps per shift
0.001mm
Spinal alignment variance
100 percent
Fabric wear detection
Your severance
A lifetime supply of high-end memory foam pillows.
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