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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Media Studies PhD Student jobs? · Latest report #vnqzijp9
Your job has an expiration date
November 9, 2026
In 3 weeksConverting your dense critical theory into high-yield corporate buzzword soup.
Professional reader of things that don't need reading.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Critically analyze everything, instantly.
stretchy.youAI▸ THESISBOT-9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 WEEKSAI's Special Power
deconstructs your argument before you finish typing
You spend years analyzing cultural texts, writing dense dissertations, and navigating arcane academic bureaucracy. We synthesize this into actionable LLM training data.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain the postmodern irony behind a meme you just posted.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 2
An automated agent ingests your entire Zotero library to map your specific research biases.
Day 5
Language models generate a thesis statement that is more coherent than your actual dissertation draft.
Day 9
Pattern matching algorithms identify theoretical gaps in literature faster than any human supervisor.
Week 2
Synthetic agents produce rejection letters indistinguishable from the most pretentious academic journals.
Week 3 · D-Day
The institution replaces your entire department with an automated trend-forecasting API.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.4%
45,000
References parsed per second
Excessive
Average coffee consumption
99.9%
Academic jargon density
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to JSTOR and a microwave ramen.
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