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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Member Retention Manager jobs? · Latest report #2vk7tzga
Your job has an expiration date
December 17, 2027
In 14 monthsConverting your 'loyal' members into unsubscribe clicks in record time.
Professional guilt-tripper, email blaster, and gym-cancellation detective.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The end of human-led guilt trips.
shred.you▸ CHURNNULL 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
sends infinite push notifications at 3am
You track cancellation rates, spam members with re-engagement emails, and try to make people feel guilty for not gyming.
The one thing AI can't do
You are actually good at pretending to care why someone stopped doing burpees.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
The AI starts parsing every membership record and email response rate.
Month 4
Personalized, guilt-inducing messages replace your generic mass email templates.
Month 8
Algorithms adjust cancellation fees based on how much they expect the user to argue.
Month 12
The machine handles all member disputes without ever needing a coffee break.
Month 14 · D-Day
You are offloaded and the machine runs the entire retention department.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.6%
4,200/day
Emails sent to people who haven't visited in 6 months
15%
Retention bonus based on total member misery
12%
Likelihood human cries during churn meeting
Your severance
A lifetime membership to a gym that is already closed.
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