Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Membership Sales Representative jobs? · Latest report #jauj3brv
Your job has an expiration date
April 14, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsSelling loyalty to fans who will suffer through another losing season.
Professional guilt-tripper for underperforming athletic squads.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated emotional extortion for sports franchises.
oof.youAI▸ FANRETENTION-AUTO V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
sends personalized guilt-trip emails to inactive fans
You spend your days cold-calling lapsed ticket holders and badgering supporters to upgrade their membership packages. Your performance is tracked by lead conversion rate and seasonal revenue targets.
The one thing AI can't do
You can authentically sound disappointed when the team loses on the weekend.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI begins scrubbing your CRM to identify the exact point where fans stop caring.
Month 4
Synthetic agents replicate your specific brand of professional enthusiasm during outbound calls.
Month 8
Algorithms automatically adjust membership costs based on real-time team win-loss data.
Month 13
Personalized digital offers replace your awkward pitches for premium seat upgrades.
Month 18 · D-Day
Your access is revoked as the system handles all renewals without needing a human.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.2%
94%
Call rejection frequency
Infinite
Lapsed fan annoyance
Low
Revenue extraction efficiency
Your severance
A signed scarf and a discount on a funeral plan.
Discussion
