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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Metaphysical Shop Owner jobs? · Latest report #bi5mec29
Your job has an expiration date
February 8, 2029
In 2 years, 4 monthsSelling overpriced quartz to sad people is a surprisingly fragile business model.
Professional dream-weaver, inventory manager, and vibes architect.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimizing spiritual fulfillment through targeted inventory automation.
ow.you▸ MYSTICSELL-9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 4 MONTHSAI's Special Power
recommends healing crystals via algorithm
You stock crystals, incense, and tarot decks while managing shop inventory and seasonal metaphysical supply shifts.
The one thing AI can't do
You know exactly which patron needs to hear a lie that sounds like destiny.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors begin tracking every crystal movement and incense burn rate.
Month 5
Cameras record customer facial expressions to map purchasing patterns.
Month 10
AI predicts demand and automatically replenishes stock from distributors.
Month 20
Customers interact with kiosks that offer scripted spiritual guidance.
Year 2.3 · D-Day
A locker-based kiosk system assumes full control of retail operations.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.1%
400%
Average margin on amethyst
112 units
Daily incense stick turnover
14%
Customer vibe-check failure rate
Your severance
A lifetime supply of expired sage sticks.
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