Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Metrics Analyst jobs? · Latest report #3fspsrs2
Your job has an expiration date
May 28, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsTurning corporate anxiety into spreadsheets is not actually a real job.
Professional pivot-table enthusiast and professional organizational worrier.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated organizational heartbeat monitoring







toast.youAI▸ READYMETRIC V4.0▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates your entire insight report every morning
You translate business feelings into metrics and write code to track them. The machine does this faster today.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to a client about why the metrics show everything is fine.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors hook directly into project tools to pull raw numbers.
Month 4
The AI generates your daily metric reports without human oversight.
Month 8
Validation calls are replaced by automated feedback loops with clients.
Month 13
Large language models replace your manual summaries of industry studies.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your access is revoked as the system becomes fully autonomous.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
14,000 hourly
Meaningless KPIs Generated
99 percent
Redundant Slide Decks
10 out of 10
Human Boredom Rating
Your severance
A one-month subscription to a meditation app.
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