Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace MLB Umpire jobs? · Latest report #svgb9swy
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2028
In 2 yearsHumans are physically incapable of tracking a 98mph heater, so why try?
Professional ball-tracker currently failing at simple high-speed geometry.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect accuracy at a fraction of the cost.
sluurp.you▸ OMNISTRIKE-9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
tracks every spin rate with absolute precision
Officials occupy the home plate and field positions to adjudicate ball-strike counts and safe-out calls. Your career is essentially a long, slow argument with people who hate you.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still eject a manager for being personally insulting to your family lineage.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors in the stadium roof instantly replace your subjective view of the plate.
Month 5
Computerized calls are relayed directly to the catcher's earpiece in real-time.
Month 10
Vision-guided high-speed cameras monitor base paths to eliminate blown safe-out calls.
Month 16
An automated console generates standardized responses to manager complaints, neutralizing human emotion.
Year 2 · D-Day
The diamond is entirely managed by algorithmic oversight, permanently ending your stadium presence.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
12 percent
Call Error Rate
Critical
Fan Outrage Index
94 mph
Average Pitch Speed
Your severance
A lifetime supply of digital earplugs for stadium booing.
Discussion
