Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace MLS Equipment Coordinator jobs? · Latest report #3tcp29k8
Your job has an expiration date
December 15, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsEnjoy cleaning cleats while your automated replacement prepares the entire locker room.
Professional kit master, stain remover, and travel planner.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The only locker room attendant that never complains.
ow.you▸ PITCHSIDE STEWARD V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
sanitizes jerseys before the players leave pitch
You manage team training kits, launder uniforms, and organize travel logistics for professional soccer players.
The one thing AI can't do
You know exactly how each player likes their shin guards adjusted for comfort.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors in jerseys track every piece of gear to the bin.
Month 7
Industrial washers sort and dry kits without human assistance.
Month 16
Ground drones handle all cone and ball placement for drills.
Year 2.2
Algorithms predict gear needs to eliminate last minute panics.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
The machine takes over the final folding of your career.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
42
Avg jerseys folded per day
60 mins
Average laundry cycle time
Extreme
Stink factor
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium laundry detergent packets.
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