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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Mobile Petting Zoo Salesperson jobs? · Latest report #wpbsaeci
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsSelling farm animals for birthday parties is a glorified babysitting gig.
Professional wrangler of toddlers, goats, and liability waivers.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimizing pastoral interaction efficiency at scale.
split.youAI▸ CRITTERBOOKER AI-5▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates livestock logistics and liability waivers
You cold-call schools and event planners to book goats and bunnies for transient petting zones. You manage event logistics, animal containment liability, and manure-related public relations.
The one thing AI can't do
You are uniquely capable of calming an alpaca mid-tantrum in a suburban driveway.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Scraping local school calendars to identify optimal dates for petting zoo events.
Month 5
Moving all legal waivers to a smart-contract blockchain for zero-human intervention.
Month 10
Applying route-optimization algorithms to eliminate trailer downtime during busy party seasons.
Month 15
Adjusting herd capacity based on real-time event market saturation signals.
Month 19 · D-Day
The system fully manages the booking cycle while humans merely watch the animals.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
4.2%
Cold-call success rate
12/year
Goat-related liability claims
20/week
Hours spent cleaning trailers
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium alfalfa and a leash.
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