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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Monitoring Program Manager jobs? · Latest report #udwj75bf
Your job has an expiration date
April 14, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsConverting vague enterprise telemetry into expensive, meaningless slide decks.
Professional translator of green bars into manager-speak.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automating your pointless status updates forever.
sluurp.you▸ DASHDASH V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
autogenerates executive dashboards in six seconds
You track monitoring configurations and chase teams to fix infrastructure alerts. You spend days reporting on uptime.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to a stakeholder with enough confidence to avoid immediate total failure.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Integration tools pull raw alert data directly into manager views.
Month 4
Smart agents generate your status reports before you wake up.
Month 8
Robots assign monitoring tasks directly to the engineers themselves.
Month 13
Smart software self-optimizes your host units to save costs.
Month 18 · D-Day
The system monitors itself and you are officially redundant.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.4%
12
Slides produced per day
99%
Alerts ignored by humans
5 liters
Coffee consumed while waiting
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a premium meditation app.
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