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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Movie Critic jobs? · Latest report #hynx26ih
Your job has an expiration date
August 28, 2027
In 10 monthsYour thousand-word essay is just three vectors of sentiment analysis now.
Professional screen-gazer, amateur master of the metaphorical flourish.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Aggregating opinions before the credits finish rolling.
shred.you▸ CRITICBOT 4000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 10 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters out all nuance in milliseconds
You watch films, scribble notes in the dark, and judge pacing or cinematography to influence audience opinions.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the soul of a performance that a training set ignores.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
AI models scrape plot details to write basic summaries instantly.
Week 9
Algorithms analyze thousands of user reactions to determine crowd appeal.
Month 5
Models fine-tune on your past reviews to copy your specific tone.
Month 8
The system pushes machine-generated critiques to maximize platform engagement metrics.
Month 10 · D-Day
The site replaces your column with a real-time AI summary feed.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.8%
0.4 seconds
Average review latency
Infinite
Snark capacity
45,000
Pretentious vocabulary count
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our algorithm's generated hot takes.
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