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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Multi-Disciplinary Performer jobs? · Latest report #k8x2fiqr
Your job has an expiration date
August 30, 2059
In 32 years, 11 monthsA unique blend of primate agility and questionable canine communication skills.
Species-confused physical artist with niche utility.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Synchronized chaos through superior sensory feedback loops.
stretchy.youAI▸ PRIMATE-CANINE INTERFACE UNIT 9000▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 32 YEARS, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
interprets tail wags as performance art
You juggle pole-climbing physical exhaustion with the delicate, subjective art of interpreting animal behavior. It is a very niche, very messy career path.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the exact moment a dog decides to ignore you entirely.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors map the nuance of every tail wag and primate gesture into a predictable dataset.
Month 13
Smart-poles adjust resistance and temperature to optimize for non-human grip and movement patterns.
Year 7
Hydraulic walkers mimic the agility of a trained performer without the requirement for frequent breaks.
Year 16
The AI unit predicts animal intent faster than any human whisperer could ever hope to.
Year 33 · D-Day
The human performer is gently rotated out as the unit achieves perfect, automated, multi-species harmony.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
94%
Inter-species confusion rate
Sub-optimal
Pole stability index
Zero
Behavioral nuance detected
Your severance
Two sacks of high-grade treats and a sturdy ladder.
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