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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace NBA Head Coach jobs? · Latest report #ikt9nu6q
Your job has an expiration date
December 5, 2029
In 3 years, 1 monthA tablet running high-school geometry handles timeouts better than your ego.
Professional screamer at millionaires in high-tech jerseys.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimal rotations without the post-game excuses.
squeeze.you▸ COURTMASTER PRO 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
calculates perfect win-probability rotations instantly
Coaches manage rotations, design sideline out-of-bounds plays, and manage oversized player personalities. They survive on coffee, film study, and relentless media scrutiny.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still stare at a referee with enough disappointment to change their life.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Wearable sensor data begins dictating all minute-by-minute player rotation schedules automatically.
Month 8
Sideline tablets push optimized set-play diagrams directly to player HUDs during timeouts.
Month 20
AI-driven algorithms handle all internal discipline and locker room communication via mobile notification.
Year 2.6
Visual-analysis systems automate protests, replacing the need for demonstrative sideline coaching behavior.
Year 3.1 · D-Day
The head coach role is retired in favor of a silent, highly efficient court-side processor.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
24%
Rotation efficiency gain
Zero
Post-game presser pauses
Nonexistent
Salary requirement
Your severance
A lifetime supply of lukewarm Gatorade in the tunnel.
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