Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Needle Retrieval Specialist jobs? · Latest report #tcx8mard
Your job has an expiration date
September 22, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsYour ability to find sharp metal in grass is officially obsolete.
Professional poke-victim and haystack agitator.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Total magnetic saturation for your piles.
toast.youAI▸ HAYSTACKER PRO V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
scans entire field in three seconds
You manually sift through piles of hay to locate small metallic objects. It is a slow, tedious, dangerous process.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the subtle difference between a rusted sewing needle and a jagged wire.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 7
Sensors map the physical volume of the straw pile.
Month 7
High-powered electromagnets pull ferrous items from the pile.
Month 13
Vision systems categorize every object found for safety.
Month 18
Gantry arms turn over every bit of straw twice.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
You are replaced by a machine that never needs a bandage.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94%
0.3
Needles found hourly
Infinite
Hay fever count
100%
Finger prick rate
Your severance
A lifetime supply of magnets and bandages.
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