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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Needoh Upseller jobs? · Latest report #z9i6zhg9
Your job has an expiration date
May 22, 2027
In 7 monthsTurning casual squishy-toy browsing into abandoned cart notification nightmares.
Expert at making people feel guilty for buying nothing.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The only pusher that never sleeps.
oof.youAI▸ SQUISHBOT PRO 5▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
triggers infinite pop-up reminders on every screen
You aggressively push add-ons to customers buying squishy stress balls. You monitor conversion funnels and trigger automated urgency prompts.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly when a customer is just messing around with the squishy toy.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Your conversion patterns are ingested into our tracking model.
Week 6
The AI writes better upsell copy than your best email blast.
Month 3
A ghost bot starts testing which pop-ups annoy users least.
Month 5
The system takes over all cart abandonment email sequences.
Month 7 · D-Day
You are replaced by a line of code that never gets tired.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.2%
12 percent
Average Up-sell Rate
45
Abandoned Carts Per Hour
High
Customer Annoyance Index
Your severance
One free squishy ball and a lifetime browser ban.
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