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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Neuroscience Professor And Researcher jobs? · Latest report #qjw24dfg
Your job has an expiration date
December 15, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsYour lectures are just podcasts that students actually have to attend.
Tenure-tracked academic with a serious grant-funding dependency.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated thesis generation and data-driven tenure.
bzzt.youAI▸ NEURALSYNTH ACADEMIC 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
generates grant-winning neuro-papers in milliseconds
You synthesize massive neurological datasets into grant proposals and conduct repetitive behavioral assays on lab models.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a student is lying about their thesis progress in real-time.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI models generate and submit grant applications with higher success rates.
Month 7
Smart vision systems replace manual behavioral assay tracking and logging.
Month 16
Interactive AI avatars replace the need for repetitive undergraduate lectures.
Year 2.2
Algorithms handle massive peer-review cycles without human intervention or fatigue.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
Your research and teaching roles are merged into a unified node.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 93.4%
12%
Grant success rate
4 per hour
Average lecture snooze
Excessive
Coffee-to-data ratio
Your severance
One free subscription to every predatory research journal.
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