Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace NHL Goalie jobs? · Latest report #2k2edyue
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2030
In 4 yearsYou are just a fleshy obstacle between the puck and the net.
Professional rubber-disc deflector and master of weird lunges.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect reactions, zero ego, never gets traded.
glub.youAI▸ GOALIE-NET 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
tracks every puck trajectory in real time
You stop rubber discs at high velocity and try to maintain a decent save percentage.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still psych out a superstar with a single menacing stare.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 3
High-speed optical sensors map every puck trajectory in the arena.
Month 13
AI models learn to anticipate shot angles before the puck drops.
Year 2.2
Hydraulic pistons move faster than any human muscle could ever twitch.
Year 3
League rules update to allow non-biological goaltenders in the crease.
Year 4 · D-Day
The goalie is removed as your reflexes become legally obsolete.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
0.15 seconds
Average reaction time
too many
Total career bruises
$5,000
Cost per save
Your severance
a lifetime supply of anti-inflammatory gel
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