Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Night Nanny jobs? · Latest report #6srjmn7f
Your job has an expiration date
March 11, 2031
In 4 years, 5 monthsParents crave sleep more than a human touch in the dark.
Professional breaker of sleep cycles for profit.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The quietest metal hand in the nursery.
bzzt.youAI▸ INFANTWATCHER V4▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 5 MONTHSAI's Special Power
monitors heart rates with thermal imaging sensors
You soothe infants during the night, manage feeding schedules, and handle diaper changes until the sun comes up.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense a specific baby's distress cry from a dead sleep through three walls.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors begin tracking every breath and movement in the crib.
Month 10
Robotic warmers prepare bottles to precise temperatures without human error.
Year 1.9
Gently oscillating beds replace the need for physical swaying arms.
Year 3
Cameras detect fussiness and initiate programmed patting or shushing.
Year 4 · D-Day
Parents realize their baby prefers the cold, perfect rhythm of silicon.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
4.2 sessions
Average hourly sleep disruption
3,000 units
Diapers changed annually
Toxic
Caffeine intake levels
Your severance
One free lifetime supply of premium coffee beans.
Discussion
